oh dear Lord...

<GASP!!> oh dear, Lord...this person is me

hypnotic stare...

This is her "is any of that chocolate coconut cake for me?" face...

And this is her "you've got to be kidding me, right? There is no evidence that a single, solitary piece of that crumb fell? How is it even possible that your boob-shelf didn't collect SOMETHING?" face...

So stinkin' cute...

You know, if I had a trunk, I'm not sure that I would know what to do with it either. Look at this sweet little baby elephant who is just learning to walk. Not only can he not figure out what his trunk is for, but he gets it stuck under one of those big legs of his. Ten out of ten on the "sweet-o-meter."

your daily bias...

I Heart...

I can't find a source for this. I'm happy to give MAD props to the author, seeing as they somehow climbed inside my brain and sucked all the sarcasm juice out. They then blended that juice with some eye rolling and open mouth howling laughs. Just sayin'...

 

your daily bias...

funny bone...

If you haven't seen this book, you are missing a MAJOR belly laugh. Chewed is the brain-child of Arne Svenson and Ron Warren, co-writers and the funny bone behind sights that the dog lovers in my readership will completely understand. They built a book around the invented stories of chewed up pet toys and their destroyers. Here's my favorite:

Q. *Gracie. What happened?

A. I can't remember the details. I blanked out. But I'll be honest I loved every minute of it. We'd been polite for years and then one day *Georgie just lost it and he started going for it.

Q. Is there any part of it you regret?

A. In my line of work it's what you expect. You come off the assembly line fresh and fluffy and you pray for this to happen. I don't know how I can explain it to you except to say it's what I'm created for.

Q. But from the looks of things there was violence.

A. Violence? Are you kidding? Try Ecstasy!

Q. Did you learn anything?

A. I learned to surrender. To live my life. I faced my worst fears and was delighted with the outcome. Okay maybe I'm not as beautiful as I was ten years ago but who is? I considered plastic surgery but I hate it. It's so obvious and desperate. Better to look your age...

©2011. Chewed.