pet peeves

There are few things in life that really get under my skin. I'm usually pretty easy to deal with, pretty even tempered. HOWEVER, these few things can set me off like a fat man on a whoopee cushion. Note to my friends: don't test me...

1. Tossing butts - the absolute last thing that I want when I'm driving down the road is a still-burning butt flying towards me at 70 mph. The simple fact that you are littering is obviously lost on you, but then you have to be a total douche and throw your flammable litter at someone else. I didn't ask to be littered on. I also didn't ask to take my life in your hands by hoping that your lit butt doesn't spark something under my hood. Do us all a favor - use your ashtray or keep an empty aluminum can in your car. Keep your butt to yourself. I have enough asses in my life.

2. Cow cud - I don't want to hear you chewing your food just like I don't want you doing it with your mouth open. It's one thing if you are eating chips or crunching on ice, but the sloppy smacking of your jaw gets my blood boiling. Really, learn some restraint...and some courtesy. And finally ...

3. 3rd grade lesson - Please learn how to punctuate. It's simple, elementary school knowledge - and if you got out of 3rd grade not knowing where a period, comma or capital letter goes, then I wonder who your mom paid off. If you are updating your FB status or sending an email, please, please do your part and grammar check. It's annoying and infantile. If you are wondering if this points at you, ask. I'm happy to call you out.